


Thinking

by violingal2



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, Graphic Description, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, References to Suicide, Self Harm, Suicide Attempt, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-31
Updated: 2012-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-23 01:50:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/616740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violingal2/pseuds/violingal2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TRIGGER WARNING FOR SELF HARM. Tony gets in a fight with Steve. Bruce finds him in the aftermath and tries to help Tony. Self-harm and hint of slash. From an RP but I edited it so it switches between perspectives. Tony being angsty and Bruce helping him calm down. Let me know what you think!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thinking

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING FOR SELF HARM. Please do not read if you feel this pertains to you. The song “Pieces” by Red is fabulous to listen to along with this fic, we both listened to it while writing! Not really sure if this was worth posting but I haven’t posted in a little while so I just slapped this puppy together. This came from an RP I had with blaze-M-L(tumblr) on omegle. I was Tony and she was Bruce, so not all mine. Anyways I hope you likey and I made a new Avengers only tumblr called stark-naked-billionaire and you can follow me if you want! Now-READ.

Tony could feel the warm tears slide down his cheeks, as the razor bit through his flesh. The red that instantly followed dripped down to his elbow and up into his hand, successfully making a mess of anything in close proximity. He hadn't wanted to do this again, but needed the clarity, needed to THINK. When Bruce walks in, Tony barely notices.

Bruce's mind goes blank as he sees all the blood coming from Tony. His heart rate increases, beating fast, but he quickly grabs a hold of Tony's arms, god there was so much blood, he is scared, but to Bruce, this is all too familiar. "Tony, Tony! What are you--you're bleeding!!" Bruce sees the razor and looks back up at Tony, his eyes a deep shade of green.

Tony looks into Bruce's eyes and seeing the green there, feels a crushing amount of shame. He had thought nobody was home, thought he could get away with this. Bruce looks so scared, Tony can see it in his eyes. He hadn't meant to cut so deep, but the bleeding wouldn't stop, and he is starting to feel dizzy. He faintly hears Bruce trying to talk to him, asking him what had happened. Tony can't muster up the strength to respond, this had gone too far. He hadn't expected this to happen. Bruce is looking him right in the eyes and Tony just breaks, he is still upset about his fight with Steve that had started the entire fiasco, and now he had upset Bruce. Great. Tony tries to slow his tears and he wipes his face, but only ends up getting more blood on himself and on Bruce. Bruce is holding onto his wrists so Tony just stops fighting and falls into Bruce's embrace, sobbing into his shoulder.

Bruce can see it, his hands covered in blood, Tony’s blood. He feels Tony grow weak but they both are on their knees. Bruce tries his best to hold Tony as tight as he can, but the bleeding isn’t stopping, he looks at Tony’s wrists and the cuts. "JARVIS, I need medical supplies please!!" Bruce asks, somewhat frantically.

"There is a medical kit under the sink counter Dr. Banner." The AI responds. 

Bruce quickly opens the cabinet and sees the med kit. He takes the whole thing out and grabs a towel. He soaks it in water, then tries to clear out as much blood as he can. He first wipes Tony’s face gently to get out the blood, then places the towel on Tony’s arm and wipes the blood away, he can now see the worst cut clearly, it’s very deep. Bruce remembers this from his own past and he shivers, but continues on.

Tony can feel Bruce trying to clean up some of the blood, but every time he wipes it away, more would come in its place. Bruce looks ill when he sees how deep the cuts are. Tony can see Bruce rummaging around to find a suture kit. He hates needles. And damn it was going to hurt. Bruce is murmuring something to try and calm Tony's erratic breathing and sobs, but it win't really helping. When Tony clearly isn't calming down, Tony feels himself being brought into a hug, with Bruce running his fingers through Tony’s hair, telling him it will be okay. "I-I'm sorry..." Tony whispers to Bruce. Tony begin to calm down, so Bruce lets him go and continues preparing to stitch Tony up.

Bruce takes out a cotton pad and rubbing alcohol-he had to make sure an infection would not start after he stitched it. He holds onto Tony’s hand tightly as he holds the pad just above his cut. "This is going to hurt, Tony" Bruce says, looking up into his friend’s face. He places the pad as tightly as he can onto the cut, he knows it hurts like hell, but he can’t stitch up Tony without cleaning the wound first. He snaps his eyes shut as Tony squeezes his hand tight and yells out in pain. Once the pain subsides, Bruce removes the pad and cold air rushes to the cut. He takes the needle and keeps a strong hold on Tony’s hand, he did not want to let go, he is afraid to let go.

Tony feels the biting pain of the alcohol on his exposed flesh and he cries out, fuck it hurts so much. His head is spinning with the pain, he feels like he’s going to faint even though he is already sitting down. Bruce notices Tony's pale complexion, but continues on. Tony hears Bruce warning him of the pain of the first stitch, but Tony still isn't ready for it when it comes. He jerks his hand when the needle goes in, but Bruce has a strong grip so it doesn’t move much. Tears spring to his eyes as Bruce swiftly stitches, he feels like he might throw up, the pain is just too much.

Bruce has a good grip on Tony’s wrist, and he continues to stitch. He knows how painful it is, he can see it in Tony’s eyes, but it is for his own good. Bruce wants to cry seeing Tony like this. Oh God, why Tony, why did you do this? He screams in his head. He finishes stitching and cuts the strand, then grabs some bandages and wraps the wound tightly, a little bit of blood seeping through, but much better than before. He puts down his supplies and pulls Tony into a hug, tears rolling down his own face. "Oh God Tony..." he whispers.

Tony can’t hold back his impending breakdown any longer, so when Bruce pulls him into a hug, he loses it. He starts sobbing uncontrollably, sad because of what Steve had said, sad because of everything that has happened to him, and sad because he had made Bruce sad. "I-I didn't, m-mean t-to. S-so deep." Tony tries to get out. Bruce grips him tighter as he cries. Tony hadn't cried like this is front of anyone EVER.

Bruce holds him tighter and tries his best to soothe Tony, "Shhh, it's ok...it's ok..." he tries to stop himself from crying but the thought of this, the cutting, the blood, it reminds him of himself a long time ago, before he had decided to help people, before he had decided to stop fighting the Hulk, before he had met the Avengers, before he’d met Tony. The thought, what if he didn't come in time, what would have happened to Tony? Bruce himself had tried to end his own life, but he couldn't, the other guy wouldn't let that happen, he had tried putting a bullet in his mouth and the other guy had spit it out, he couldn't run away to the relief of death, but Tony...he doesn't have a 'other guy', he's vulnerable, he could pull the trigger and he's gone...forever. The thought makes Bruce shiver again as he pulls Tony off his shoulder for a moment and wipes Tony’s tears with his shirt.

Tony seriously makes an effort to calm down, but it just isn't going to happen. He had never let himself unwind this far, not even with Pepper. He’d always kept tight control, but this time, he had failed. When Bruce pulls him away to wipe his tears, Tony looks up to Bruce's face-also wet with his own tears, and lets the guilt wash over him. How could he do this, to his friend? Bruce had it much worse than Tony, but Bruce didn't go off to self injure. Tony looks right into Bruce's eyes and tries to keeps his voice level as he says "I'm really sorry. For this. For everything" Tony looks down again and sits in silence, waiting to hear Bruce's response.

"Shhh....don't say you're sorry, don't fill your mind with guilt..." Bruce tells Tony in a hushed voice. He looks back at Tony’s wrist, it isn't bleeding anymore but the blood spot is still there, and he holds Tony’s hands in his own as he looks down. Bruce can't help but feel somewhat selfish, he's known that Tony's had a rough time, but he has never thought of Tony of all people, to do this to himself. Maybe Bruce would have caught on sooner if he hadn't been so clogged up with his past. Bruce grits his teeth as he leans his forehead on Tony’s. Tony starts to sob harder, he tries to control it but it’s hard. "Tony...I...just...why did you do this?" Bruce says again in a hushed voice, his eyes glowing green still.

Tony can see all the pain in Bruce's green eyes, and he doesn't really have an answer for him. He had started this bad habit after returning from Afghanistan, it was a way to focus on the physical pain instead of the mental pain. But now, he couldn't deal with any mental pain. He could only use cutting to calm himself. When he had talked to Steve, they had gotten into an argument. About Howard. Steve said some things that weren't too becoming of Tony, and Tony ran away to the razor, where Bruce later found him. "I-I couldn't stop myself" Tony whispers, then dissolves into more sobs.

Bruce holds Tony’s hands tighter, he can hear his heart beat speeding and his breathing starts to increase. He yells in his head, Stop it, no! Stay calm!! In his mind he is with Hulk, as Bruce just screams and yells at him to stop and go away, but then he really looks at Hulk. He did not fight or anything, he just stood there in front of Bruce, he wasn't angry, he looked...sad...like he wanted to cry. Bruce remembers, Tony was not only very important to himself, but to the other guy as well, that is why during the war, he had saved Tony from falling. Tony never feared Bruce or the Hulk, in fact, he found him interesting. This made a bond between Tony, Bruce, and Hulk. Bruce just stared back at the Hulk then, and just like that, he is back to reality. The hulk propels Bruce forward to kiss Tony on his head, which reminds him of his mother. She was sweet, and whenever his father would beat him, his mother just being there to hold him, kiss him on his head and whisper and sing to him, made him feel so much better. So Bruce gently kisses Tony on his forehead and holds him tightly against his chest.

Tony's breathing slows as Bruce holds him, rocking him back and forth, until he is calm. He feels exhausted, so he just leans on Bruce's shoulder and breathes. "Steve and I got in a fight." Tony states calmly. As if that explained everything.

Bruce looks back at Tony, he remembers the fight from earlier that day. Bruce hadn't wanted to stick around for the argument, he hated them, he was not able to really hear the full rage and the pain struck words being thrown at each other. He should have tried to break it up, but no, he had just ran away. Bruce bites his lip hard, it starts to bleed a little but he ignores it. "Was...was it the one earlier today...when I left the room?" he asks.

"Uhm-yeah." Tony looks down guiltily. "It's not your fault though. Steve's right. My father-he would be ashamed. It's true" Tony looks so sad and desperate, that Bruce puts his arm around him again.

"Tony- no no no, are you kidding? You're working on making the world a better place, with clean energy, you've done so much, so many amazing things, stuff that could only be dreamed of or imagined, but you make it to reality. Tony--God you have no idea how amazing you are. I swear to you, you do great things. I think they are great, if your father doesn't, well he just doesn't see it clearly like I do then...." Bruce says as he wipes his own tears with his hands and looks at Tony’s small smile.

"I-I guess you're right. Just Steve-my dad loved him. More than he loved me." That was what killed Tony inside. Steve was Howard's favorite, not his own son. "But thank you" Tony whispers as he leans his head on Bruce's shoulder.

Bruce knew the feeling of being unloved. His father had expressed that with physical and mental abuse, but he had always wanted his dad to love him. He holds Tony for a moment, his hand on the back of his head. "I know how that is, to want love from your father..." Bruce can hear Hulk in his head, he grunts but it almost sounds like a purr, and Bruce smiles. "...Tony..." He pulls Tony close and looks into his eyes again. "The other guy loves you, very much...and so do I" Bruce says quietly, his smile still on his face.

Tony feels bubbly and soft inside when Bruce tells him that. "I-I love you too" Tony states, still leaning on Bruce. He then tries to stifle the enormous yawn coming from his mouth, and fails. He laughs at Bruce's expression. "I'm sorry I didn't come to you" Tony tells Bruce, on a more serious note. "I know you understand, I just, I thought I could deal with it on my own." Tony takes Bruce's hand and starts fiddling with his fingers, not meeting his eyes.

Bruce takes a deep breath, "Tony, from day one, everyone was scared of me. No matter what I did, I was still seen as a monster, but when I met you...You didn't look at me as a monster, you looked at me as a normal person. I knew you trusted me from the start." He lifts Tony’s head up to be level with his own face. "I know the feeling of being alone and I want you to know that you won't have to feel it anymore. No matter what, I want to be there for you, and I will. Just never forget, you're not alone in this...ok?" 

Tony nods. "Thank you Bruce. I-really needed to hear that" Tony looks up and smiles at his friend. "And thanks for uh-stitching me up and stuff" Tony blushes a bit at the last part.

Bruce looks down at his bandage. "Well, I need to re-wrap it, but you're welcome" he says, and he places a kiss on Tony’s cheek without even realizing it. Bruce quickly pulls away and looks down, his face red. He hadn’t meant to do that, it was probably the hulk as he heard him again in his head.

Tony lets the kiss go, chalking it up to the dire situation- ignoring the butterflies in his stomach. "Yeah-probably a good idea." Tony looks down at his bandage that is slightly red. 

Bruce smiles again, his face still red as he grabs the med kit and takes out more bandages. In his head though, he is bickering with Hulk, his face flushed and red as Hulk only smiles smugly. You wanted to do it...you know it. The hulk says in a rumbling voice. Bruce stops bickering and looks down, then looks back up at hulk. I did... he replies, with a small smile curled on his face. He comes back to reality as he takes off Tony’s bloody bandages. 

Tony winces as the bandages come off. His head is still spinning a bit from the kiss. What had it meant? Tony isn't sure if he is overthinking it or not. Tony blushes redder as he thinks about Bruce. It isn't the first time he had wanted to kiss the man. Bruce swiftly changes Tony's bandages, then holds his hands in his own and looks deep into Tony's eyes. Tony feels himself being pulled towards Bruce's face like a magnet, not even noticing what is happening until his lips brush Bruce's, and he brings his hand up into Bruce's hair. The only thing registering in his brain is the smell of Bruce and the feel of his lips.

At first, Bruce is startled, but he wants to kiss Tony so badly, he wishes when he had kissed Tony’s cheek that he had kissed his lips instead, but now Tony had changed everything. Bruce could hear Hulk purring with approval in the back of his mind, and he shushes him as he continues to return the kiss, his arms and hands climbing up to wrap around Tony’s neck, he did not want to let go.

When Tony reluctantly breaks away for air, they are both breathing hard. Tony looks down, embarrassed. "I-god I'm sorry that was-not-" Bruce shuts up Tony's rambling with another kiss to his lips. Tony smiles into the kiss, feeling happier than he has in a long time. When they break away for a second time, Tony has questions. "So you-I didn't think-?" Tony settles for giving Bruce a questioning look, hoping he has gotten his point across. Tony knows how he feels about Bruce, but has no idea how Bruce feels about him.

Bruce smiles, his face still a bright shade of pink, but he is so much calmer. "I love you Tony. I haven't felt love in a long time, in fact, I try to avoid it. But with you...god I can't help myself. I would like to be with you, if you're alright with it." he says, his hand over Tony's.  
You: "If I'm alright with it..." Tony mutters, still trying to comprehend what is happening. "Yes Bruce, yes I would like that. A lot." Tony whispers into Bruce’s ear, feeling warm and fuzzy all over.

Bruce laughs a little as he holds Tony close again and kisses him again. He is so happy, and his feelings could now be expressed without the worry of ruining their friendship. He can't help but let a few tears roll from his eyes, there are happy tears though, he has never been so happy in his life.

Tony wipes Bruce's cheeks gently, "Don't cry, I'm here, I'm okay." Tony hugs Bruce tightly, planting a gentle kiss just below his ear. "I love you" He says into Bruce's ear.

Bruce nods and he feels a shiver down his spine when Tony speaks in his ear. "I love you too Tony....just remember, if you need help, I will always be there." 

"I know, I will come to you, I promise"

"Good." Bruce says and kisses Tony’s cheek. He sighs, he felt tired. It had taken a lot to control himself and the hulk around Tony.

"Lets go to sleep, C’mon" Tony helps Bruce up from the floor and walks with him into his bedroom. Bruce has his arm wrapped around Tony’s hip for support, he sees the bed and sighs, Tony must be tired as hell just like him. Tony pulls back the sheets and got in with Bruce right behind him. Bruce spoons him, and kisses his neck. Bruce laughs lightly when he hears Tony’s soft sigh. He's so cute Bruce thinks to himself. Tony smiles and drifts to sleep, his insides churning with happiness. Bruce kisses the tip of Tony’s ear and whispers "Good night Tony..." before falling asleep.   
My feels have been super angsty lately, so this is what happened. I know this is kind of ooc, but I wanted to hear what people think. So this may not be the most realistic Tony/Bruce hurt/comfort fic ever written (as in it definitely isn’t). Please try not to be mean because then I get sad :( I have just been getting into writing so I love to hear suggestions, just tell me how I can improve rather than just telling me you don’t like it. REVIEWS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED AND MAKE ME FEEL ALL WARM AND FUZZY INSIDE. Have a lovely week darlings <3

**Author's Note:**

> Also a repost from FF.net. I love feedback but these are old so please don't be mean, my writing isn't too good :/


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